What is that smell?

I have been investing in myself for the year and a half since I was fired. It is time to break whatever is damming up the outflow, so the backup can drain and there is room to flow in. I still believe that a convergence is happening in my business which will propel it into success. I have all the components, I just need to insert the key and turn it.

Perhaps I can just kick the dust off my shoes and move on. The only problem is, it is more like dog crap which needs to be scraped off and cleaned. Perhaps I just need to throw out the shoes and replace them. Metaphorically speaking.

New shoes=new me!

So, I am a loner. I try to plug in with people, but I am skittish now. It is a shame, but it is like that little girl on the commercial who has a look of absolute terror etched on her face and she can’t talk because of being next to a bomb that exploded outside of her home.

Perhaps I have PTSD from the deaths in my family, the divorce, and being fired from Applied Medical. Acknowledging that may be the first, necessary step in my recovery. There is a lot of scarring from the last few years of my life. I think the worst is over, but I need to work on my therapy to stretch past it. I have a lot of scarring from the reaction from my Christian friends too. There is a problem caused when a person doesn’t know what to do, so they become inactive. Ignore the problem and wait for it to subside. I hate it when people do that to me… but how often have I done it to others? Remember, when you point a finger at someone, there are three of your fingers pointing back at you.

Gratitude for all! It is time to move past the past and dance in my new shoes.

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