I am different. I am okay with that. I try.
I am. – Instinct, Intellect, Intuition, Intention. (The book I am writing.)
Everything I believed in was wrong. I am restructuring my belief system to encompass what I have learned so far. I took to writing daily to clear my thoughts. I have shared some of those thoughts here on my blog.
When I am helpful, people love it. When I am in need, people ignore it. This is the problem with tolerance, depth is lost, walls are built, facades in place. Acceptance is required to move on. Synergy happens with acceptance.
I am told I am closed and unwilling. I say I am plenty open to those willing to sit and LISTEN. I am self-sufficient. I am a rock, I am an island… I don’t think people really understand me because my idioms and song quotes are too eclectic. The only way to understand that language is full immersion. I don’t have the chance to hang out with people regularly anymore. So it seems.
Anyway, life goes on.
I am a square peg. There are too many round holes which I just don’t fit into. I am unique and that is okay with me. I just need to find the land of square holes, I guess. I don’t think whittling the square edges off is desirable. I don’t feel a need to fit in. Dare to be different. Go outside the lines. Think outside of the box. My ideals are wrong for this world, so I need to create a new one.
I am analyzing as I go, and it is like sloughing through muck… the slough of despond! (See, there is an idiom most would miss.) How much of who I am is steeped in Christian writings. Schaeffer, Bunyan, Lewis, and others. Music too! Deep seated memes all of them. Mustard Seed Faith, Daniel Amos, Steve Taylor, Barry McGuire, Noel Paul Stookey… the list is long. All have been set and run under the conscious level. Such is life. I don’t see these as bad memes, if I did, I would work at burying them.
So, I ignore what bitter people post on my Facebook wall. I am perceived as aloof because of it. Well, perhaps I am. Deal with it. (Luckily for me, they don’t have sanitariums to commit me to any longer.) I am content. An enigma.
I find out what people are like and decide whether to avoid hanging out with them. I could simply block everyone I don’t like from my Facebook page and live in a bubble like everyone else. I don’t believe that helps anything. I want people to know what I think. It is a freedom I will enjoy as long as I can. Thinking is the one freedom which cannot be taken away. (It can, however, be given away. Too many people do that.)
So, the choice everyone has: Accept me as I am or don’t.
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